im so tired. i found out i have AIMS testing tomarrow.
and to top it off, tomarrows an A day.
fuck me.
i worked out too hard tonite. ow.
im lame.
tired.
thinking of him again, for some godawful reason.
hes lame.
i hate him.
im kind of fed up with myself.
im not supertalented at something like everyone else i know. im just mediocre at everything...mediocre or bad. seriously. everyone i know is a fucking prodigy at this or that, and theyre GREAT at it. if i know, say, 3 people who are good at photo, its all great, cause they all have different styles....and im just sitting there...hoping and trying.
god.
im so tired.
there was a big fight tonite.....
my sister. my mother...god theyre immature. they just yell and yell and yell......im glad i wasnt part of it this time. and im glad no hits were thrown...lame. sick of these people...my mother dissappeared for a few hours afterward, and my sister was dramatic-times-ten. does this show ever stop? thats a no.
i often wonder what itd be like if i had grown up in a "normal" situation....ya know..NORMAL. times when my father DOESNT take me on van buren and point out where the best heroine, cocaine, and prostitutes are....times when i CANT always hear my mother fucking in the next room....what would it be like? if i wasnt exposed to all that?
im glad, in a sense, just cause ive learned something from it. the hard way is the good way for me. meh. im a retard.
and i gotta pee.