just sitting here. nothing to do. stayed home again. got my money out of the mother. seventy-five frikkin bucks, damn straight, hard earned....she bitched at me. i told her that if she kept on top of her finances they wouldnt pound her in the end. blech. but like, sixty of it went to my savings. *smile*
i really cant wait for y(XY) to come! i want to see him! he seems so neat. but im afraid ill really like him when he comes. im afraid that ill like him a lot and ill get hurt again cause i wont be able to see him. maybe im just running in circles....just me. cause of stupid J(XY). im just....grr...one lives in another state. one lives in across the sea. stupid me, having a habit of digging guys so far away. maybe cause its save, in a sense. i dont like to be vulnerable. i like to seem kind of emotionless.
some people say im extremely intimidating.
E(XX) told me once, that shes sometimes afraid to tell me things, cause im "too confident, but in a good way" and "too intimidating" i was like "woah. youre one of my best friends...you shouldnt be afraid"
i miss her. i wish we could hang out more, but some stupid emo shitsters get in the way and suck her in, and make her feel like shit if she doesnt spare a minute to someone else, ya know?
sad.
miss a lot of people. emotionless.
bleeechhhh
ive never had a "Group"
oh well.
im kinda tired.
maybe i can leave the house tomarrow?
i havent left it since wednesday nite....
arrrggg!!!!
be productive!
its hard to constantly be productive, when youre disease ridden and have a spell of sleeplessness.
oh, mortal life, gimme a break...