bad boring ass mutha fuckin ass shit fuckity fuck day.
im another point down. spending money and working to spit in my cuts.
we have another person living with us.
we have no food.
my mother hates me. she wont let me go to the grocery store. she wont let me go out of the house (but i manage to, sometimes, every couple of weeks) she wont let me go out with her....god..living here is so depressing, i cant even feel it.
i feel so awful for being so annoyed by everyone, at school and at home. im constantly on the verge of a breakdown. ive got one escape.
and thats talking to a boy.
whos never on the internet when i need him most.
its okay though.
im getting fat again.
i feel like shit about myself
i wanna cry so hard.
i dont want school to start again on monday. im just...gonna have an attack just thinking about it. friday was basically crippling for me, all the taunting...it just made me wanna shoot everyone and everything then explode and eat my eyes..arrg! see??
i wish someone would be nice to me. just someone.
anyone.
im sick of being hit. not fed. grumpy. ready to crack at any second. why cant i ever have anyone just be NICE to me?? what did i do?
what did i do....
every day just gets more and more desparate. i sit alone too much. i work. and i get no results.
how come my whole life has been like this?
i just want one person to be nice to me.
i havent hugged someone without almost hyperventolating in almost two years.